Serial Killers Are No Match for my Scissors

I make extra money doing haircuts at the local penitentiary. When people find out, they ask "Hey Amber, aren't you afraid of the murderers, rapists, and psychopaths taking advantage of you or killing you?" And I always answer the same way, "No."

Why should I be afraid of them? I'm the one with the scissors. If those felons think they can push me around, they got another thing coming. I may be tiny and beautiful, but I can cut a man so bad that the blood loss will make him unconscious in less than 10 seconds. What are you going to do to me in that time, Mr. Big Time Scary Felon Man? Nothing, that's what. Because while you're wondering why you're feeling light headed, I can continue stabbing you with my scissors until you scream like a little girl before passing out on the floor in a heap. So don't mess with me.

Anyway, I give awesome haircuts and really know how to bring out the best looking features of even the guys with the really gross faces. If anyone ever touched me, they'd get themselves killed in the shower within a day or two.

I love cutting hair and helping people feel better about themselves. Even with the really unattractive people, I can give them a style that shows off their best points while detracting from their hideousness. It's a gift and I'm glad to share it with people. You may be stuck with an ugly face, but that doesn't mean you have to have an ugly haircut.